Steve MartinTwenty Five [BIG] Nose Jokes1.
Obvious: Excuse me. Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face.
2.
Meteorological: Everybody take cover. She's going to blow.
3.
Fashionable: You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger. Like Wyoming.
4.
Personal: Well, here we are. Just the three of us.
5.
Punctual: Alright gentlemen. Your nose was on time but you were fifteen minutes late.
6.
Envious: Oooo, I wish I were you. Gosh. To be able to smell your own ear.
7.
Naughty: Pardon me, Sir. Some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away.
8.
Philosophical: You know. It's not the size of a nose that's important. It's what's in it that matters.
9.
Humorous: Laugh and the world laughs with you. Sneeze and it's goodbye Seattle.
10.
Commercial: Hi, I'm Earl Schibe and I can paint that nose for $39.95.
11.
Polite: Ah. Would you mind not bobbing your head. The orchestra keeps changing tempo.
12.
Melodic: Everybody! "He's got the whole world in his nose."
13.
Sympathetic: Oh, What happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?
14.
Complimentary: You must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on.
15.
Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides.
16.
Obscure: Oh, I'd hate to see the grindstone.
17.
Inquiry: When you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid?
18.
French: Say, the pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave.
19.
Pornographic: Finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once.
20.
Religious: The Lord giveth and He just kept on giving, didn't He.
21.
Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose hair.
22.
Paranoid: Keep that guy away from my cocaine!
23.
Aromatic: It must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee ... in Brazil.
24.
Appreciative: Oooo, how original. Most people just have their teeth capped.
25.
Dirty: Your name wouldn't be Dick, would it?
From the movie "Roxanne", written by and starring: Steve Martin.
Reference:
http://monster-island.org/tinashumor/humor/roxanne.html
The Muppet Show with Steve Martin - Dueling Banjos
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXyvCJlPgME
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Frank Stella, Shepard Fairey and Andres Serrano help Stephen sell last year's portrait to Steve Martin.
http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/367854/december-08-2010/steve-martin-pt--2
--------http://stevemartin.com/--------VIDEO: Steve Martin’s Non-Conformist Oathhttp://youtu.be/oTwV3vG73cU